Now What?

..So I like you.. Or at least I think I do. So, now what?
So we're talking and everything is cool. But now what?
If there was ever a time when knowing what would happen next was relevant, this would certainly be it.
So we had sex.. Now what?
Oh wait, I know.
Its time to pretend.
Pretend as if nothing means anything.
You're just a guy. I'm just a girl. Its what we do.
So... I don't like you so much anymore.
But I can't quit you.
Wish I knew how.
Its a never ending cycle.
But this time, I want off the merry go-round.
I'm much too old for child's play.
So the next time you say, "now what"?
Just know I won't be there to give you an answer.

.The End.

Old Habits Die Hard

I have an idea in my head of who I want to be, but it doesn't go in line with what I believe.
What to do? What to feel? What to think?
I ponder and I wonder, will I ever get it right?
Right vs. Wrong

Good vs. Evil
Life always has some type of struggle.
There's always some type of obstacle one must overcome.
Its time I sat down and really took the time to consider where I'm going in life.
Times a wasting.
Sometimes I feel like I have forEver.
And other times I feel like I have forNever.
Its true.
Old habits die hard.

So.. This Is Me..

Its crazy what we can rationalize.
The human mind is more powerful than we think.
I've noticed that most of what I've rationalized, was to my detriment, not my benefit.
I often wonder, what's going on in my head?
Can't believe I said that, can't believe I did that, can't believe it was you...
I'd like to say that fate dealt me a difficult hand, but I don't believe in fate.
I  guess what I need to do is find understanding, find a way to explain my actions.
Am I the only one that wants what I can't have?
Am I the only one that wants whats wrong for me?
Am I the only one that finds it so hard to do right but so easy to do wrong?
Its as if I have a knack for choosing the wrong thing.
They always said, don't fret over what you can not change.
Well I guess I'm stuck this way.
Then again, maybe I'm right where I need to be?
So, this is me. But it doesn't have to be.
I accept my lot in life.. For now..

Before I Self Destruct....

On a warm sunny summer night, I decided that I wanted to be reckless.

I told myself, before I self destruct, let me consider what my alternatives are.

And when nothing came to mind, my decision had been made.

It was almost as if I had envisioned this happening before it did.

Good case of deja vu.

So I bid reality goodbye and took flight.

Against the night sky.

Against the city lights. Against the trees.

Against right/wrong, and reason.

Summer always seems to be my season for trouble.

So, I told myself, before I self destruct

let me try to remember why I feel as if I need to do so..

And when nothing came to mind, I began to unwind.

I was over and out, gone with the wind.

I knew I had sinned, but I didn't care.

I couldn't. I wouldn't allow guilt to make me regret.

What was so wrong but felt so right.

One-Sided Love Affair

I'm pessimistic in nature.
  I guess that's who I am.
I'm not the type to walk around with a smile when I'm mad.
Sometimes I get so angry.
  Angry at all I see.

Because nothing is the way it is or as it should to me.
  I guess I'm just a selfish girl.
Because I want the world.
I can't help it if my parents taught me to only want the best.
I'm getting real tired of having to second guess.

So if you really want me, you better let me know.
 All you gotta do is show me. Show me that you care.
 Don't let this whole thing be, a one sided love affair.

So Close... And Yet So Far Away

You're so close... and yet so far away. Its like you're right here with me but I can't be with you.
And you know what you do. You do it all the time. Always running through my mind.
I wish you didn't make me feel this way. Got me saying things I shouldn't say. Or do.
You're so close.. and yet so far away.
And you've taken what wasn't yours to take. My heart.
You've got it wrapped around your finger.
Its as if you pulled the trigger. On me.
Now I can't eat. I can't sleep. I can't breathe.
Without you.
You know what you do to me but you don't care.
Its just so unfair that I could feel this way for you.
You're so close and yet so far away.
I can see you, but I can never make you stay.
So I'll just run. I'll just run away from you.
And I know you won't try to stop me. I know you won't be there if I fall.
No. Not. At. All.

..Uninspired.. and Uninhibited... Part Deux

    This uninspired and uninhibited behavior has taken on a new form.
What once was dormant has come undone and out!
Like a life force before me, I can clearly see
that woe is you and woe is me.

   But before I launch into a soliloquy
of how things should or ought to be.
Let me first, examine me.

   Perhaps now that I realized that the void comes from within
instead of without,
I can start to decipher & recreate
A. Better. Me.

?Does such a person exist?
Is there still hope for me?

Some say yes.
And some say no.
But honestly, no body knows.

I'm not really looking for statements.
I'm not really looking for opinions.

I'm just yearning for a learning of
what. it. all. means.

Uninspired.. and Uninhibited

    Today I feel... uninspired.. and uninhibited.
I don't know whats wrong with me.
Its as if I've lost my touch.
Like the magics gone.
Perhaps I'm losing, but that doesn't mean I'm lost.
Perhaps I'm failing, but it doesn't mean the battle can not still be fought.

Sometimes I think I think too much.
This causes me to feel... out of touch with reality.
For all that I see is unreal to me,
nothing is as it seems or should be.

This uninspiredness and uninhibitedness has caused a hole inside of me.
A void, so to speak.

So I search
high and low
for something/someone to
fill the void
that..is..me..

Why, .. Hello There!

I just realized that its literally been a month since I've been on here! Tsk.. tsk. Time does fly. What with summer school and work, I haven't had much time to myself. But I'm back now and ready to write, write, write. I have new plans for poems and posts. Very soon to come. So stay tuned. And if you're not following me on twitter you should be! @ThatsSOBri

Self Knows Not What It feels

    ...I went out one night and I lost my mind...
 But everything was fine.
    Becase while awake, I am dreaming,
seeing but not believeing that its real.
  It seems as if I'm in too deep,
  like I've fallen into some type of sink hole.
Depressed, disappointed, and delusional.
self.. knows.. not.. what.. it.. feels..

I try to hide what I feel
because if I said what was really on my mind
I might turn a few heads
or wind up all alone again.
I'll admit it, I'm the neurotic one.
like a misplaced atom bomb,
trying to grasp and stay in touch with reality
but its a futile attempt you see
Becase-> self..knows..not..what..it..feels

I tortured soul,
doomed to walk this earth alone,
for ever and eternity.

self..knows..not..what..it..feels

Life Is What You Make It

    They say "life is what you make it". I agree. Indeed, life is whatever you make it out to be. That can be good or bad. For the longest time I lived by other's standards of how I should live my life. But then it hit me.
It's my life. I'm the only one who can live it! So from now on, thats what I will do. I''ll live life for me.
Only I can determine what that means. I know that for the longest time, I was simply living and not existing.
Thats about to change. I want to be among the living. I want to enjoy my youth and my life because only God knows how long I have on this Earth. I challenge everyone to live their best life. Because you only live once so make it count!

 "Either you live now, and regret later. Or you don't live at all, and regret forever."

Poetry Topics/ Themes

Ok so I think now I have an idea of what I want to write about.

Some different topics I'm interested in are: culture, nature, life, happiness, racism,

So I'll just pick one of these topics, start brainstorming, and write whatever comes to mind!

Nature Poetry... etc..

Just thinking about new types of poems I can write. Most of my poems are about my life/experiences. It would be interesting to write about different subjects and things I see around me and not necessarily all about me. Maybe nature poetry would be a good place to start?

hmm..

Haven't posted anything new in a while. I feel like going to Barnes and Noble and reading some poetry. Reading works by my favorite authors/poets usually inspires me. Today is a good day to read.

Happiness

I'm looking up instead of down
turning frowns into smiles.
Not waiting for others to direct my way,
taking my own risks.

Becoming my own woman.
Righting wrongs.
Singing songs
and creating my own happiness.

This is my pursuit.
This is my mission.

link to the Book Trailer

Here's another link to the Book trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pad85eHzSss
website coming soon!

Follow, follow, follow

If you're not already following me on twitter you should! @brtbrat31
or check out my profile on wefollow: wefollow.com/brtbrat31

Just something that inspires me

I don't know why but something about this picture just inspires me. I guess its the color and just the way it looks. Red is my favorite color and this picture showcases red in a creative way that I've never seen before.

Book Trailer

I've finally finished my book trailer! Here's the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pad85eHzSss

Realize

Just a little something I thought about this morning. Sort of like a motivational haiku.

  Recognize. Realize. Truth.
       Inspire. Desire. Knowledge.
  Believe. Achieve. Greatness.
Attain. Retain. Wisdom. 

book trailer

I'm so excited about my book trailer. It will hopefully be up by tomorrow. This will give everyone a chance to get a preview of my poetry!

Quiet

This is a line from one of my poems entitled: "Quiet". "Quiet as death but with no hints of sorrow. I lay in your arms not thinking of tomorrow," I just want to get some feedback. Whats good/bad about this line? Does the rhyming make it seem childish in any way? Any thoughts or comments would be greatly appreciated! :)

summer

I see the sun shining and I see the flowers growing. Blooming and becoming beautiful I feel the cool cool breeze and I smell the scent of country air. This is what summer feels like. This is what home feels like, to me...

Follow/Friend

You can also follow me on twitter or friend me on facebook! www.twitter.com/brtbrat31 http://www.facebook.com/brittney.jsph

All The Things I Never Said

After 8 long years I have finally published my book of poetry entitled: All The Things I Never Said. I'm real excited about my book and I want everyone to read it. I think it has something for everyone, even if you don't normally read poetry. Book trailor coming soon! Heres the link to amazon.com where you can purchase my book: http://www.amazon.com/All-Things-I-Never-Said/dp/1452828652/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1274719740&sr=1-1