Monday, September 27, 2010
The human mind is more powerful than we think.
I've noticed that most of what I've rationalized, was to my detriment, not my benefit.
I often wonder, what's going on in my head?
Can't believe I said that, can't believe I did that, can't believe it was you...
I'd like to say that fate dealt me a difficult hand, but I don't believe in fate.
I guess what I need to do is find understanding, find a way to explain my actions.
Am I the only one that wants what I can't have?
Am I the only one that wants whats wrong for me?
Am I the only one that finds it so hard to do right but so easy to do wrong?
Its as if I have a knack for choosing the wrong thing.
They always said, don't fret over what you can not change.
Well I guess I'm stuck this way.
Then again, maybe I'm right where I need to be?
So, this is me. But it doesn't have to be.
I accept my lot in life.. For now..
Sunday, September 26, 2010
On a warm sunny summer night, I decided that I wanted to be reckless.
I told myself, before I self destruct, let me consider what my alternatives are.
And when nothing came to mind, my decision had been made.
It was almost as if I had envisioned this happening before it did.
Good case of deja vu.
So I bid reality goodbye and took flight.
Against the night sky.
Against the city lights. Against the trees.
Against right/wrong, and reason.
Summer always seems to be my season for trouble.
So, I told myself, before I self destruct
let me try to remember why I feel as if I need to do so..
And when nothing came to mind, I began to unwind.
I was over and out, gone with the wind.
I knew I had sinned, but I didn't care.
I couldn't. I wouldn't allow guilt to make me regret.
What was so wrong but felt so right.