I fancied you

I don't even think I all the way liked you.
But I fancied you.
Hard.
I always do this.
Go through the motions.
Like, semi-like, like a lot, fancy, semi-love, almost-love.
But it won't go that far.
No, not for me.
At least I'll never have to say,
"I used to love him."
Nope, I don't want that to be me.
I do not believe in love lost.
Or love found.
Love should be here,
I shouldn't have to work for it.
It should just know.
Know that I need it, when I need it.
Maybe I should just tell it.
Tell it what I want.
Maybe then, things would be different?